I Know/Nocturnal
by anaisninja01
Summary: I'm so original, writing a Gene/Melfina romance. NOT! Two songfics in one. It says angst, but not to worry; there'll be a reasonably happy ending. Rated R for limey content.


I Know – Fiona Appleo be it, I'm your crowbar

Hi! This is my first Outlaw Star fic, and my second fic ever.The first song is "I Know" by Fiona Apple (who kicks so much butt), and it's from Melfina's point of view (sort of).The second song is "Nocturnal" by Max Collins (the oh so sexy lead singer from Eve 6), and it's from Gene's point of view (again, sort of).Both take place after the series.I always think of Melfina and Gene when I hear these songs.I hope y'all like it, and don't forget to review.

_So be it, I'm your crowbar_

_If that's what I am so far_

_Until you get out of this mess_

_And I will pretend_

_That I don't know of your sins_

_Until you are ready to confess_

_But all the time, all the time_

_I'll know, I'll know_

Melfina lie in bed, staring out into space, literally.She was trying really hard not to feel sorry for herself, not to miss Hilda, not to think about Gene.She knew that Hilda and Gene had been lovers before she died, but she pretended that she didn't.She couldn't help but feel like the two of them used her; she also couldn't help but feel grateful for their help and kindness.Confused, she wondered, 'can you hate some one and love them at the same time?He uses me like a tool, but he treats me like a human; he even said he wanted to be with me always, but he still thinks about _her.'She immediately recoiled at how disdainfully she thought of Hilda._

_And you can use my skin_

_To bury my secrets in_

_And I will settle you down_

She looked over at Gene.He appeared to be asleep.He always seemed so calm after they made love.It was like he had gotten every secret off his chest, and he could rest easy.He never knew how true that was. Melfina could tell what he was thinking when they were together.She knew all the things she didn't need to and none of the things she did.She knew that Gene missed Hilda, that their passionate, while all too brief, affair had been amazing.She knew that Gene was still suffering from grief over his father, over Hilda, for taking away Jim's childhood, for being in debt to Fred.She didn't know that, while Hilda still did and always would hold a small piece of Gene's heart, the rest was hers.Somehow she just couldn't see how much Gene really loved her.

_And at my own suggestion, _

_I will ask no questions_

_While I do my thing in the background_

_But all the time, all the time_

_I'll know, I'll know_

_Baby- I can't help you out, while she's still around_

So, knowing Gene's secret, lasting admiration for Hilda, Melfina went on with life.She didn't say anything about it, didn't ask him any questions. She was afraid to say anything about one problem for fear that the would all come crashing down, for fear that Gene would stop loving her if she opened that flood-gate.She just navigated the ship, made dinner, and shared his bed.She was resigned to her fate.

_So for the time being, _

_I'm being patient_

_And amidst this bitterness_

_If you'll just consider this- Even if it don't make sense_

All the time- Give it time 

_And when the crowd becomes your burden_

_And you've early closed your curtains,_

_I'll wait by the backstage door_

She just waited, as patiently as she could, for Gene's soul to heal.However, in the meantime, hers was becoming even more scarred.All she could do was tell him that she loved him and hope that was enough. She never thought to leave. She never asked for more. She just waited.

_While you try to find the lines to speak your mind_

_And pry it open, hoping for an encore_

_And if it gets too late, for me wait_

_For you to find you love me, and tell me so_

_It's ok, don't need to say it._

_ _

_ _

_Well she's lying in our bed, _

_Sweating staring at the ceiling  
I know her worried head is aching, _

_I know the cause is me  
I could leave the bathroom light on for better dreams tonight  
My stability, my luxury, my life_

_And I won't go, neither will you _

Turn off the phone, let's sleep 'til two  
Your sad eyes take and own me

Words are unnecessary  
Grip the back of your neck and slowly  
Move 'til it all becomes alright

Gene could tell that Melfina was hurting, and he knew that it was his fault.He didn't know what to do to fix her.That's all he really wanted, for her to be happy, but he just couldn't seem to make it happen.He was horrible with words; he couldn't even bring himself to say, "I love you," when she did, no matter how much he wanted to.She said it every night, as they got into bed.All he could do was kiss her, touch her, make love to her.He wished that was enough for her to understand how he felt, but it wasn't.No matter how much he drove her into heavenly ecstasy, his love for her did not come across.He knew his mission to make her understand had failed once again.He tried desperately to stay awake after the remaining tremors of orgasm had passed, but listening to Melfina catch her breath and exhaustion quickly shuffled him to sleep.He really regretted it too; he was sure that if he had stayed awake for a few more moments and looked Melfina in the eye he could have said it._  
I wake up in a cold sweat _

_Got a bone to pick with reality  
Take a deep breath and lay back down, _

_Wearing my badge of infamy_

_Change the bulb in the nightlight _

_Cause it flickered flickered and died  
Repeat the words you're not alone _

_To self three times and hit the light_

A few hours later Gene awoke with a start.He had been dreaming that Melfina left him for Harry MacDougal."At least he can tell me that he loves me!" she had said, crying, in his dream.Quickly, he looked at Melfina, to make sure she was there.She was, and she was silent and still.Thinking she was asleep, he took a deep breath and laid back down.

Moments later, he was still awake, and Melfina started to shake.He heard a sniffle and a muffled sob. He rolled over, grabbed Melfina's shoulders, and turned her to face him."What's wrong, Mel?"She shook her head."Tell me!" he demanded gently.

She clutched at him and buried her face in his chest."Do you love me or do you just think of me as the closest thing to Hilda?" she managed to ask through wracking sobs.

_My aim is true, _

_Turn off the phone, let's sleep 'till two  
Your sad eyes take and own me  
Words are unnecessary  
Grip the back of your neck and slowly  
Move 'til it all becomes alright_

Gene was shocked.'How does she know I still think about Hilda?'At that moment, seeing his Mel cry because of him, Gene didn't give a shit about Hilda anymore.He pulled Melfina back to look him in the eyes."Mel, I love you so much that I can't even tell you.You mean everything to me.Hilda _was important to me, but not anymore.Please don't cry.Please, don't."He couldn't stand to watch the tears course down her face anymore, so he did the only thing he could to stop her sobs; he kissed her.As he pulled away, she looked up at him with bright, wide, wondering eyes; she had stopped crying."I can't tell you how I feel, but let me try to show you."_

With that said, he kissed her again and began to work his erotic magic.'She'll understand this time.I'll take Mel to Heaven, and she'll know it's because I love her.'_  
Let the fighting words lie  
Let the candlelight die  
Let the sun come up  
Let the saline dry_


End file.
